She Was Ready To Meet God

All those months when my mom was sick with liver cirrhosis I lived each day in denial and anger, all because of my fear of losing her.

And it didn’t occur to me until today, more than a month after her passing, that while we were all too preoccupied with doing everything that we think would prolong her life, she was very much prepared to come face to face with our Creator.

Countless times I bargained with God to spare her life, recited novenas, prayed the rosary, cried out to the heavens in utter desperation.

But I felt it in my heart that God was saying “No.”

It had me devastated.

And I grew even more anxious, depressed and hopeless.

Hear my prayer, O Lord;
let my cry come to You.
Do not hide Your face from me
in the day of my distress.
Incline Your ear to me;
answer me speedily in the day when I call.
~ Psalm 102:1-2

I remember telling my mom to ask God to heal her.

But everytime I did, her response would always be, “God’s will be done.”

Every single day I watched her slowly slip away from us in prayerful submission to God’s plan.

Perhaps she knew that she would leave soon.

He has broken my strength in midcourse;
He has shortened my days.
~ Psalm 102:23

God did not give me what I wanted and the pain was beyond my capacity to feel.

But amidst the heartache and the tears He gave me what I needed – the grace to accept what was to come.

And to my mom He granted nothing but the best – perfect healing and the gift of eternal life.

I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in Me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die.
~ John 11:25-26

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3 thoughts on “She Was Ready To Meet God

  1. This is very well written and really touched me. I definitely went through the bargaining, denial, and anger stages when my parents passed away. I remember even being angry with God for taking away my parents and leaving me alone on this earth at the age of 25. But, thankfully, with much prayer, love, and comfort from God, my faith carried me through (and continues to carry me through). I feel very much close to God during my grief as “he is with us in our darkest hours.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “he is with us in our darkest hours… That is so true. I, too, feel that deeper level of closeness with God now that I am grieving. In a way, I do see my mom’s death as a blessing in disguise because it gives me the chance to build an even much stronger relationship with Him. +

      I’m glad you liked what I wrote. Writing is a good form of release for me. I do hope you are good! Thanks a lot for dropping by! Love and blessings to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Blogging has become a good form of release for me as well. In a strange way, it has become my support group. My therapist is the one that told me to start with this blogging journey as I was always keeping my thoughts to myself and that was making my depression worse. Blogging most definitely helps! Many thoughts, prayers, and hugs sent your way! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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